Jungle

Some videos to make you (me) happy today.

Also, if you're needing a new read, one of my bff's Chris started a project where he's single for a year in NYC. To me the best part about it is the self-love aspect. That he has to take himself out every week. Seeing as though I eat alone on the reg and am totally down with single cinematic viewings I'm all for it. It's kind of like the hugely successful project by two graphic designers, "40 Days of Dating" but more personal I think. I'm excited to see how it goes.

New York, New York (and Art)

Remember how I went to New York at the end of the summer? Theee New York? Well it was a dream.

Coby had an internship in the city for the summer (which was awesome but also kind of lonely) and when the day finally did come for me to meet him out there I was freaking out. I read Paper Towns on the plane and *spoiler alert* a boy goes after a girl and the ending isn't all daisies and roses. Thus, that last hour of my plane ride was questioning every little thing. Am I Q and is Coby Margo Roth Spiegelman?! What if he thinks I'm hideous? Or pathetic? How do I act? What do I say? Do I hug him or shake his hand? Needless to say, I was a mess. When I finally did get the courage to walk down to baggage claim, the the next thing I knew I was totally hug-ambushed by this beautiful man-boy with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a metro card in the other. And I swear there was clapping around us. WAS HE EVEN REAL? I was melting. Melted.

So giddy not-so-Margo and I were reunited in bliss and off we went! We stayed right across the street from Washington Square Park in the West Village (I know, right?) and around the corner from the Joe's Pizza. A slice or two later we wandered down to Magnolia Bakery and hello is this my life? Boyfriend and pizza and cupcakes and whaaatttt even is life?

Okay, I promise to be semi-coherent now. We walked the streets all week in my now trashed sandals. We squeezed in the subway. Popped up at Grand Central for a bit. I hailed a cab and we rode it through Soho. We hung out with our gracious hosts the Songs. And Coby's grand-canyon-clan/aka friends the Smiths. I fell in love/seemingly became dependent on ice cream. And the flowers on every other corner. There was Times Square and a Korean-table-grilled dinner. And a lobster roll cook out and frequent visits to the 7-11 around the corner. And Broadway! Newsies! The Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty! The 9/11 Memorial and the One World Trade Center! Brooklyn! China town! The High Line! Central Park! I don't know how we did it all, but we did. And we came back to the Village each night completely worked from a full day of city living.

But is it cliche if my favorite days were our museum days? I mean the MET! It's just so overwhelming! I couldn't even focus. Degas! An entire room of Degas! And the MoMA? It was overload. Is Picasso even real?! Or Matisse? I mean, truly. We literally walked every floor (top to bottom, that's the way to do it) and I left feeling like I knew nothing. Every single art history class I've ever taken doesn't even begin to cover it. And that's like, five of them. Boy oh boy.

Coby is a whiz kid though. He was the best navigator through the city, continually giving up his seat on the Subway and randomly helping out lost souls and older couples and oh all in Spanish too? There's no one I'd rather run around with. The entire week I felt like I was in this music video, just walking the streets with my man.

Is this the sappiest I've ever been on the blog? How about the least-academic sounding? Probably. What of it?

Coming To You Live

Hellooo blog land.

And how's school you may ask? Well I'm taking a photo class (finally) from the nicest, prettiest teacher who just birthed a baby girl named Gemma. We are constantly exploring the ins and outs of creativity, something that has been a hot topic as of late. And everything is clicking! It's amazing how a good teacher can make all the difference, I always leave class feeling uplifted and inspired. That's the kind of feeling I need in order to be successful. Tough love has never really benefited me, maybe that's why the design program here frustrates me so.

That shot of Coby looking pleasantly annoyed of me shooting whilst saying stop! go! wait come back! shoot where'd my light go! is a simple testament of his trooper-ness. And a good lookin' trooper at that. But you guys, manuallll? Go me! Did you know he bought me a computer? He explicitly asked me to stop talking about it (i.e. tell all ya'll!) so i'm going to blatantly disregard his wishes. I've been without one for a while now, and what's a design major without their means of designing? So one night after class he led me around his house, eyes closed, and stopped me right in front of this here beauty. I proceeded to bawl while his dad watched BBC in the background. Totally magical and uncalled for and now I'm coming to you live from Natalie City!

I've made my workspace extra clean and colorful to gear up for some design projects that are sure to be the death of me. I've also been listening to The Brae and Bug A Boo on loop, so hurrah for my saving grace! Tha' end.

Weirdness and Ramen

I've been feeling blah. Not necessarily bad, just a little unsettled. Last night Coby and I borrowed beef  top ramen from his sister (not my idea, "it's all about the community nat - she'll love it!") and watched Short Term 12. Which, before we get any further, who knew that beef ramen was so good? Anyway, the movie left me in tears. Happy and sad and who even knows tears, but it was nice to get some of that weird, unsettled stress out. I'm not totally sure where I'm going with this, but to say hey! I'm happy with where I'm at. And to further illustrate all of this weirdness...

My main man. Who is kind of funny but kind of beautiful too.

2:06 is my favorite

Videos Like Woah

Here are some little baby videos for your Wednesday viewing pleasure. The first is of our short trip to Moab where Coby bought a car. We had great conversation and a great throwback, hip hop, impromptu playlist playing. I drove the rest of the way home with my windows down causing temporary hearing loss. The second is of Chalk the Block at the Riverwoods. We ate Waffle Luv and were gifted a free yoga session. Then we watched 8 mile.

Boy, life sure is great when you're with your bfffffff (sosappysuemyohmygoodnesswhoami).

This is Long

Life is good.

Tonight I'm sitting in a big ol' bed in Park City. I picked my parents up from the airport earlier, and now I'm here. From Provo to said airport it took me 38 minutes. Don't tell my dad.

I now live with some of my favorite people, remember them? We have cable in our apartment (!) so a lot of time is spent watching Friends re-runs and Criminal Minds. There's also some weird sci-fi crap that Erika loves, but I tend to leave around then... I've found that the ten minutes before we're off to our respective rooms for sleeping is our optimum bonding time. Last night it was a full blown Beyonce dance session. I recommend all to try this: choose a video (love on top is prime, single ladies is killer) and TRY TO KEEP UP. How does she do it? We knew it got real when our hair was up and our layers started flying. We only failed miserably as more sweat and time went on. Another night it was Kyle videos galore (ask us to speak normally, we no longer know how). And another was scratching on doors like cats. Or rather, Erika scratching on all of our doors like a cat. Our apartment is still pretty bare as far as decor goes, but there is a bamboo plant in our kitchen and that makes me pretty happy.

School is going really well for me this time around. I think it may just be the best semester yet. So far I've learned it takes me at least five times as long to complete an assignment than deemed normal. That means there have been way too many late homework nights. For instance, an English project was outlined to take four hours total. It took me twelve. Twelve. Thank goodness that professor of mine is a great story teller who has mastered the art of both the sweet and awkward personality. My absolute favorite class though would have to be Illustration. I feel like I am, and can be good at it. And it's always nice to feel good about your abilities. It seems to be a happy medium between studio arts and graphic design. Maybe that's an unfair description, but it's one that brings me a lot of peace. My professor is so smiley. I can picture him as the little kid with out of control, curly hair who spent his time at recess sitting in the random patch of clovers drawing. I've learned a lot from him. I've also learned a lot from making the decision to immerse myself in the design world. Don't believe me? Check out my pin board. Efforts! I'm making them! This is big for me, considering how last semester was not the best experience I've ever had. Feeling unsuccessful isn't fun. But a clean slate and new enthusiasm is key, and hopefully one day I'll figure out what I'm doing. The best part of school though has to be the after school snack. Okay, meal (poor). Baked pretzels, string cheese, trail mix, or an apple please and thank you.

Are you wondering how my church talk went a while back? Well, let me tell you. I cried too many tears, made little to no sense -- and worst of all -- took up too much time. That little fact deprived my audience from listening to the beautiful, rugby playing, New Zealand hailing man speak... So I wouldn't be too surprised if every girl in my ward hates me now. My parents surprised me and came, which is what started the tears, and I got to watch them sit next to my boyfriend and roommates. All of my favorite people together. It was a sweet moment for me. There was also a very attentive person in the third row. He made me feel like what I was saying was important. So thank you, attentive person in the third row.

Now about another person who makes me feel important. How is it that I can spend at least half of every single day with Coby and not get sick of him? The other day we were walking across campus and he stopped to take a picture of us, just because. It was slightly raining, I had no makeup on (and the bags under my eyes to prove it), and he wanted to take a picture just because. Isn't that what dreams are made of? It doesn't hurt that we have awesome cuddle sessions on the reg and that he is trying to like Community for me. He also feeds me a lot, so there's that. Dearest fellow bloggers and stalkers, I think I won the lottery.

Other notable moments: stuffing my face with nicoitalia pizza, Comedy Sportz with the Erins/Aarons, and Provo becoming cold. Like I said, life is good. God is good.

+ I'm ready for a blog revamp.

I know I know, I hate my blog too.

+ I'm listening to this: Drake, Ray,

Alt-J (still!), Avicii, and Lana.

Good Ol' Stevie

Today it is raining and I'm in love with everything.

So I think we all better listen to this song on loop.

Go Cougars

I'm forcing myself to blog.

Right now I'm watching the BYU versus Texas game with my Dad, thankfully away from the apocalyptic-like rain in Provo but rather in the safety of this cozy Park City home. And while, yes, I am  completely and totally focused on this game... I also have a lot to get done. Thus, blogging became the answer to kicking off my productivity... Also I may or may not be putting off the act of writing a talk for church tomorrow but that's neither here nor there, right? (haha ha ohhh she nervously laughs...)

Bye bye summer. But oh wasn't it so nice? I spent some time at the end there in Park City with my parents. Whilst hiking on the trails in my backyard I would go further and further until I was reaching trees where the leaves were finally beginning to show their reds and oranges. To say I was excited is a little bit of an understatement. I'm Team Fall, all the way. I've already seen visions of drives up the canyon, apple cider (let's all drink apple cider okay?), walking on campus in the brisk briskness, wearing big scarves and big sweaters, watching Hocus Pocus, baking too many part pumpkin part spice treats, etcetera etcetera etcetera. Basically a typical bloggers dream.

In other news, I changed a tire. Well, with Coby's direction I changed a tire. Which while we are on the subject, he continues to be the best person in this world. But it was a monumental moment for me, all about self-empowerment and yadda yadda yadda so yes it rocked. I also moved myself/mycrap into my new apartment! Hello to clean white walls and open space and the best sunlight that streams right on into my window. I've lived in pretty crummy (but totally livable) places during my time in Happy Valley so this is an even added happiness.

As far as summer goals go, I didn't meet my booklist goal but I did finish August with an all-nighter book binge reading Grace Coddington's book. I loved it, I loved it! Please, read it. It instilled a style revolution in me. And now for a new goal! Become a runner again. I'd like to train for a race of some sort, maybe the Halloween Half marathon? Bailey? Rachel? Riley? Join me?

But do you really want to keep reading a list of happenings? What if I told you that I found myself crying in the restroom on only the second day back to school? I am trying to "let the space between where I am and where I want to be inspire me rather than scare me". But sometimes I just feel so far from where I need to be in my education. And it's discouraging, really discouraging. But as the girl in the restroom told me (upon seeing red eyes and hearing sniffles and such) "hang in there girly"-- an angel from heaven I tell ya. So right now that "meh" up there equals "stuck". Happy, healthy and humble. But craving progress. In many aspects of my life.

And scene.

+ my new favorite song, On An On put on (ha!) the best show

+ watch this poetry slam and be inspired

+this is art, and i am so doing the same with my children 
+a video we should all watch on phone usage

+ inspiration for my talk on humility , we all have our stories
+another song to send you on your way

Have Y'all Seen This?

Now you have.

Happy Wednesday!

I just wanted to pop in and say hello. And also direct you to this song, aka my new karaoke go to. And to say that I am so grateful and blessed for the happiness that is my life. And that the best nights are those nights spent driving around with a Wendy's salad in my lap and that fluffy haired boy to my left. This is, of course, after rounding up rowdy sports camp kids all night. Which while we're on the subject, I just received this text from one of my favorite counselors:

"I had a girl just eat the sprinkles off of two doughnuts this morning for breakfast." Welp.

Until next time...

i'll be the phonograph that, plays your favorite albums back

 (via)          

How is everyone doing this week in bahlog land? Good I hope.

Do you mind if I catch up on bits of Summer life?

+ Fourth of July // My Fourth was so nice. It is my favorite holiday after all. Couple that with kids turned pyros lighting fireworks and sparklers in the street as the sky is turning that dream sunset blue and watching the Stadium of Fire fireworks from the park full of glow sticks and tired children and parents teaching about liberty and freedom and God and I can't forget that boy of mine and whew I am happy as can be.

+ Sports Camps // I've been falling more and more in love with sports camps as the summer goes on. How could I not? With the friendships, the hospital runs, and the cannon center rice krispies, our cute campers are just a plus. Weeks have been filled taking mental pictures (Elizabethtown anyone?) of my favorite moments. A notable one was finding the straight bowl of M&M's one boy ate for dinner, or maybe it was witnessing a room full of Mormon kids (but especially counselors) singing Eminem's "Lose Yourself" word for word. Or there was the time the giggliest twelve year old was telling me about the boy she was "in like" with (full of thrilling twists and turns via emoticon laced texts and side hugs) whose story ended abruptly with "but then he moved to high school". That's one part I don't envy... These poor little girls who are right in the thick of worrying about boys and their bodies and whether or not they should twerk at the next party they go to. I mean how sad and scared does that make me feel for these girls! I may or may not have given a speech about true beauty and loving yourself and that boys are weird! And they will always be weird! So have fun and listen to more Beyonce, and don't worry about them because you are a strong independent women who don't need no man! Although, if they were to choose one to like, I would recommend the cutest little soccer boy who belted Bruno Mars at the talent show whilst sporting a retro hockey jersey and cookie monster hat because those are the men dreams are made of. 

+ Camping // I spent a night camping with Cob's family in Heber. Activities included conquering fears on a ropes course and zipline, performing the Mexican hat dance with sweet Sarah (step-kick, step-kick, snappp, snappp), glow sticks, speed skip-bo, and paddle boating tag on the water. They lifted the fire ban after it rained all morning so that allowed for some solid campfire talk. Said rain filled the sky with those perfect puffy clouds you don't get much of in Arizona. It was beautiful. I just really love the outdoors guys, I really do. Sleeping in a lodge full of sleep-talkers (myself included) made me miss all those years of girls camp. Which consequently made me feel so blessed to have been able to have such a good experience summer after summer to really solidify my love for the outdoors. Ahhhh. I could go on and on. But I'll just end this little blurb with a thank you to the "G" family.

+ My Family // I was able to facetime my niece the other day. She stuck string cheese up her nose. If that doesn't make you miss someone, I don't know what will.

+ The Postal Service // Settebello's pizza and the fiery sunset that greeted us were only precursors to a beautiful night.  YOU GUYS. The atmosphere was so chill. Ben Gibbard was so suave. Jenny Lewis is a queen. It was an emotional experience, and I'm not lying when I say I felt God in that concert. After coming back to the scene with sweet Amy's arms around me and tears in my eyes I couldn't help but think back on all those times I'd listened to that album. At Lauren's volleyball tournament, in the back seat driving through Flagstaff, from Breck's stereo in her old blue room, on the drive to college, in Moranda's white montero riding back from Phoenix, on that one rainy night last December... Coby, Cannon, Amy and I ran back to the car in order to beat the rush, around the puddles and through the grass, and all with the last half of the encore streaming from behind us. We sang the rest of Brand New Colony as we left and I loved it, I loved it.

"you will hear the shrillest highs and lowest lows 

with the windows down, as this is guiding you home"

Spring A Ling

Spring is here! Spring is here! And boy is it beautiful. I've been running around rock canyon with chalk-handed men who clap for me, old ladies who walk with me, and doggies who run alongside me. Aka my little hiking escapades have been the best. Spring also means the hot tub! Soccer games! Sand volleyball! Tingey dinners! New classes! St. George picnics! Vegas (more on that next)! And a future trip to Disneyland!

Do you know what else Spring brings? Spring TUNES YO! Want to hear mine? You do, especially because TLC is involved. And if I'm left dancing on my bed then thats gotta mean something. Here ya go: one / two / three / four / five (thanks kaylie!)

But guys, can I take a moment to talk about the cycling class I'm taking? Yes, yes it is rad and I left today drenched in my own power of positive thinking sweat and sense of accomplishment. But other than my bruised butt all I could think about was this little Schmidt gem. If only, right?

Last thing, I'm needing books to read this summer. I think I'm going to start with The Fault in Our Stars and then reread the Great Gatsby before I see Leo. Suggestions?

Whew. Spring. I love it.

Queen B

watch this:

and remember how i linked to this back in like, october maybe? watch it again:

in other news i've been:

doodling

painting

coughing

ear-dropping

sleeping

not sleeping

sunset watching

utah peaches eating

deep cleaning

organizing {aka throwing away half of my things}

& packing.

& running from javelinas.

In Which I Abuse the Brace Bracket

{via.}

Well, it seems as though I don't have much to blog about.

Things around here have been, well, routine to say the least.

I've been spending my time in the art room {crunch time!},

taking religion tests {and aceing them!},

running down rock canyon {i'm an athlete again!},

and being sufficiently awkward in each and every social encounter {which seem to be few and far between...}

I'm starting {haven't started} to pack {again!} to leave Provo Town this week.  And while at first I was very {very} excited to get away from here, after watching Phantom of the Opera {gerard!} with the homies {random people who I very loosely call "friends"}, I admit it will be sad to leave the familiar faces of the past six months.  They've been {relatively} good to me {insert winky emoticon here to protect this sentence, only don't}.

Alas!  Adventures {kind of} await!

See you later Provo.

p.s. Lana Del Rey, all day

So Rad, So Mighty

After I hiked the dreaded Y again {with my rudolph socks to endure the pain thank you very much}, Christopher called me helpless, stranded in Orem.  So I picked him up, we decided we needed a best friend date, and headed off to see The Mighty Sequoyah.  En route I spotted Hue & Hum eating dinner!  And IT WAS AWESOME!  And I totally freaked out {sorry Hum}!  Anywho, Shayn joined us by the time Sequoyah went on and all was grand.  Err mighty.

Speaking of music...

Kimbra.  Can do no wrong.

And speaking of Kimbra...

City & Colour.  Can do no wrong.

{Kaylie! Still, I thank you for Kimbra!}

I Love My Family

<3

so much love.

Just One Of Those Days

{via}

I'm in a very reflective mood right now.  Which means the following will be an assortment of random and sporadic thoughts and stream of consciousness-like word type writing things and stuff with likely no central theme or purpose and stuff and stuff and stuff.  I just need to get it out without any regard to what people might think.  My blog.  Word.

Okay.

I get free downloads just about every week from noise trade.  One of the latest addition to my itunes library was Jars of Clay's newest album Gather and Build: A Collection, my email popped up and "it was like, 'it's FO FREEE', so I was like, 'shore'".  Now, I love Jars of Clay solely based on the fact that their Christmas renditions are a staple in my holiday listening of the season, so of course I was more than overjoyed.  Anyway, the other week I was pretty much almost dead in the library studying for my Art History test whilst listening to this wonderful new album.  It was just around the time I began compiling all of my notes and highlighted passages and such on Byzantine and Islamic works of art, most of which involving Jesus Christ, that I realized the lyrics coming through my earpieces were about Jesus!  The coincidence was so amazing that I went on to study all of these incredible paintings and carvings and pages and mosaics and plaques of Christ with the most motivational soundtrack.  I slayed my test, naturally.  Anyway, did a little bit of research and turns out they are a Christian rock band.  Who knew?  Now I like them that much more.  Which brings me to this song.  It's perfect.  And I am listening to it over and over again whilst writing this.

My command key is half broken.  I say half, because when I do command save, it works, but when I do command copy, or command paste, it doesn't work.  But the c and v keys dooo work...  So, what's command's problem!?  I think it's sick of me using him for shortcuts.  Whatev's.

I'm in a weird spot in life.  Cue Cameron Diaz, "i just don't know what to dooo with myyselfff".  Come to think of it, this is actually how to sing.  Ask anyone who was present during our summer late night session of ipod star.  I was terrible.  Anyway, there are times {all the time} where I want to curl up in a ball and not do anything.  No school.  No friends.  No pressures.  No anything.  I wish I had that sleeping beauty disease where I was destined to sleep for months at a time, automatically freeing me from any obligations or expectations or thoughts.  Entirely exempt.  From everything.  But then, suddenly I run through my head all of these things I should accomplish in three weeks time.  All of these aspirations, and all of these goals, and all of these things I should be doing, and used to be doing, and now, I just can't do them.  I can't.  I try, and I want to, I really want to, I just can't.  I remember this really incredible pitcher on my sisters club softball team.  She was so good, but all of the sudden, the next year she wasn't there.  But then the year after that she was back.  My dad had to explain to me that she got "burnt out".  I was only eleven or twelve and I couldn't comprehend "burnt out".  If she loved softball, if she could truly pitch, how in the world could she have gotten "burnt out".  I get it now.  I am simply burnt out.  Only I don't know if I will be back in the foreseeable future.

I need my own personal Melissa McCarthy around to pin me down, beat me up, and be my figurative "life" so I can slap the crap out of her.  Which reminds me, I often have dreams where I am trying to hit someone or hurt them but I physically can't.  I have all the might and strength and intention and what not it just doesn't work out.  It's like I'm trying to hit something underwater.  That's exactly what it's like.  Wait, so does this mean I'm never gonna hit my life back in order?  Whhaaaaattt....

I've discovered that I'm not a very motivated or disciplined person.  This is evidenced by the fact that i'm one of those "jack of all trades" people.  Softball, piano,, public speaking, writing, running, music, drawing, volleyball, stained glass, leadership {whatever that means}.  I am/was good at all of these things, but someone is always better.   I don't have my niche.  I can't choose something and run with it without any regard for what others may be thinking.  I think that's what it takes to be successful at something, you can't care.  But I do care.  I care a lot.  It can get very discouraging.

Which brings me to this so called "weird place".  Yeah, yeah, I've decided on a communications major.  But I DETEST deadlines.  I have an essay due for my comms class tomorrow...  Yep, can't do it.  I obviously am not cut out for this area.  Which is definitely discouraging.  So, no major.  No career.  Weird time before Thanksgiving, before finals, and then before Christmas.  No real daily schedule.  No steady connections.  No real events coming up to prepare for.  I want to be good at living my life, I'm just not prepared to.  Or ready or something like that.  Oh.  And I can't get a real job meaning i will never go to Thailand let alone pay any type of bill.  Sad face.

I really want lemonade right now.  And a massage.  That's reasonable, right?

One hour of the day I'm on the top of the world, and the next I'm completely paralyzed.  It's debilitating, really.  I think I'm bipolar.  Sorry if you're bipolar or have a family member with the condition, I'm not trying to be offensive.  But really.

Guyz, is this normal!?

Maybe it's too late to be thinking properly...

wahhh.