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April 01, 2014

Guacamole and Emoji Dolphins

April 01, 2014
Right now in my English Literature class we are reading Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  I've loved the discussion and thinking that class has allowed, and todays lecture was no different. I get caught up a lot in who I am versus who I think I should be. My image, my online image, my school work, my future work, my personality, how I interact with others, etcetera etcetera and it's interesting how I can be brimming with ideas or goals one minute and completely helpless the next. Learning how we as a society have progressed over time with our how we view the soul and inherent goodness and whatever else is so interesting. And hopeful. We will always struggle with the two sides of anything and everything, that's nothing new. But the potential power of control is very comforting. These are things I thought I already knew, but to have it laid out a little more clearly through the lens of Dr. Jekyll (or is it Mr. Hyde?) today helped me to understand. I came across this quote from Emile Hirsch a while back and thought it was fitting of this discussion and of me, "I think I've always been half out of my shell and half in. Sometimes I can be extremely wild and sometimes I can be extremely shy. It just depends on the day." Allowing those days of in and out and up and down is so vital, and a total "duh" moment. Alas, that is my Tuesday thought for you all!

On a completely unrelated note, Provo is covered in fog right now and I love it. I've also learned that guacamole is my favorite food (topping? dip? spread?) ever. Always extra please and thank you. 

What else? The other night Coby and I watched The Motivation, it's on Netflix if you want to see. It's about the top eight skateboarders in the world and their preparation for, and participation in, the Street League Championship in New York. They are incredible. People are incredible. I love my vans and skinny jeans like the next girl, but I am no means a sk8r chick and am only now wishing I were one. Coby and I watched the movie the night after he got home from a weekend in Vegas. Now we have spent our fair share of time apart (family trips, holidays, etcetera), but ever since Coby got an internship in New York for the summer (yeehaw! yay! hallelujah! go get 'em!) any time apart feels so dramatic. Well, I am so dramatic. I think he was gone for one, maybe two, days and I went into panic mode. With just the little things, like how many episodes of Newroom will he watch without me? And who will make me cookies and smoothies when he's gone because he's more domestic than I am? And who will hold my head and play with my hair while telling me that everything will work out like every other day? And who will text me reply emoji dolphins at night? Because I know with the time difference they'd come in the middle of the day and I am going to be needing them at night sooo... Drama. I was deeply missing him and it's a little discouraging knowing how distraught I was for literally no time at all when he will be across the country for the majority of the summer. In actuality I quite like being alone. I mean I love it. I need it. And I am more than excited for him. I just need to breathe a little bit. And remember that there are people out there that have to endure so much more for so much longer.

And to end all of this mushy mumble jumble, coolness in a video.


  1. this whole post was just the greatest. first of all, that whole shy/outgoing double identity thing, i have it too! i get so frustrated with myself when im shy, but i just try to recognize that my needs are evolving constantly.

    second of all, i have THE hardest time being apart from my husband when did i become such a baby? i cry when i plan girls trips because i hate not being together. he got offered an internship in seattle this summer. he eventually turned it down, but entertaining the thought of 10 weeks by myself was frightening. i like your perspective, though! alone time is so enlightening. anyway, if you're lonely--i'll be here all summer too!!

    1. yes! i will totally take you up on that offer.

  2. I'm just like you, always relating what I learn from my readings to what's going on in my real life. It really makes the works come alive and I can see myself grow the more I study. (Can you tell I'm an English student?! Haha) Thanks for your inspiring Tuesday thought. I always love reading your blog!

  3. I am also on a guacamole kick right now! I can't have enough! At least it's healthy :)

  4. you're an inspiration to us all, NatCat! I love your perspective, and can completely relate to that quote...
    And, I will play with your hair and give you hugs whenever you want, even though I'm not nearly as attractive as Cobes. J will have to make the cookies tho (he's more domestic, too)

  5. I completely relate to that quote too.
    Also, guacamole is the bees knees.
    I feel somewhat of your pain. One of my best friends is across the world, and I miss him A LOT and just think of how much I miss him at random times. It's not fun, but there is a purpose for this time.

  6. I'll need them too.
    We can eat pizza together on facetime.

    ps. english classes change lives. same with the people who write about them.
    guacamole all day.

  7. I love that Coby comments on your posts. I love you. I love guacamole. Your blog makes me happy. Be who you are. Conference was amazing (what, you mentioned that in a different post?). I respect you so much for all your hard work and I'm still jealous you got to be a sports camp counselor. I hope you and Coby live in Arizona someday.. is that too hopeful? :)